Kia ora and welcome back to my blog. This week for writing we watched this video called umbrella. It is a short video about a little girl who comes with her mum to a home for children and donated some toys. She brings a umbrella and this little boy takes it bcause it looks like his dads. In the end of the story the girl takes it and then she feels bad for the boy and gives it back to him. She showed empathy which is all apart of our PBL about happiness.
Here is my writing.
Early one stormy, miserable morning, the wooden door to Miss Elems’s Home for Children creaked open. The young girl with the sun yellow umbrella, carefully stepped inside the Orphanage before finding somewhere to put her umbrella. Unwilling to be seen Boris quickly hid behind the door frame so he was obscured from view. Stepping off to the side, the girl watched the joyful scene as the children dug through the box of toys. The girl smiled as she observed the little boy darting around the room like a cheetah. Her smile slowly faded as she looked at the now empty umbrella stand, and all she saw were wet puddles. Her cherished umbrella was gone.
Can you find a time adverbial in my story?
Kia Ora Lucy,
ReplyDeleteI love your story it is amazing!! I especially love how you have so many adjectives and I think that would be such a great video to watch, it sound very heart warming. I think the time adverbial is at the start Early one stormy, miserable morning. Is that correct?
-Georgia